October 20th 2027
Wow, been a while hasn't it? I feel way better now... I guess making friends will do that for you. Also cutting down on drinking, smoking, reading more, setting goals etc blah blah blah. Also quitting that god damn job. Jesus was it driving me insane! Anyways I’m gonna try to work on the site more, but I’m thinking more weekly or bi weekly then daily.. that’s a bit too much for me. I should be doing the comptia A+ next month and after I pass it I’m going on a weekend vacation. Either Miami or Galveston, still undecided. Just gotta focus and keep a positive attitude and I’ll get it. Also I still feel tired… hitting the gym should solve that but I guess we’ll see.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 ☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
August 2nd 2302
Fuck you. Why the fuck did I stop drinking? Because my stupid ass therapist told me to? Fuck that shit. Wow it's been month and everything is still the fucking same great. Well I had a good talk with my best friend (real) but other then that... Man fuck this shit. This shit sucks so fucking much im so fucking tired of it all. Fuck everyone.
Look at this disgusting mole role faced FREAK. Look at his FUCKED UP teeth and his beady soulless little eyes. Look at his stupid hat, his shity nasty pubic hair beard and his fucked up greasy skin. Go watch a video by him. Seriously, his name is on the image, look him up and watch one of his videos. I'll wait. Now imagine. Imagine being in a fucking death camp. Imagine your entire family and everyone you've ever loved being brutally tortured to death while this hideous inbred cretin explains to you in his fake sesame street muppet voice that actually he has to do this. He atually has to peel of your sisters eyelids and put your grandmother in an iron maiden. He has to pull your teeth out with pliers and he has to break your dad's kneecaps with a sledgehammer. Why? Because of crime. Criminals. Shoplifting. It's making people feel unsafe. The people who feel unsafe will feel more safe if he jams his pinky down your ear canal and dosen't stop until he hits brain. Just imagine. Think about it logically.
You know I watched paddington today. Good film. A fine british family comedy. Those fuckers can't win a war or having a functional economy but they can make a film about a cute CGI bear. So I get it. I sound psychotic. You're thinking to yourself did this guy █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ found on the side of the road or █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ after he finished jotting this now? No. He went to bed. Goodnight.
July 2nd 2309
Didn't do so well in school. It's fine I suppose. Back at my old job. Also fine, what can you do right? I've been seeing a therapist for a few weeks now... I'll be seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow. I was and still frankly still am skeptical of SSRI usage, but I need something to balance me out. Just a bit. Hope it works out. It's a little past midsummer. I hope I can more some more positive choices before the fall comes. The only reason I even bothered checking in on this decrepit site is because someone on discord asked me to sign the guestbook on theirs... Here...
Quite nice isn't it? The lines? Maybe I should just start sketching...
May 11th 0331
Been a minute. Kinda don't know what to add from here. Maybe I should look around at some other sides for an idea... Oh well. Did nothing all week. Suprise suprise. Not much to say. Now that my finals are over I've been playing The Finals. It's kinda fun. Downloaded aimlabs to get better at it. So much to get better at... Hung with my friends last night. Same old shit. Although it seems I've underestimated them. Everyone really does have their own problems... grass not greener... all that. Much to think about...
May 1st 0313
Barely left my house this week... lol... Finals this week. Hope I pass. Probably won't. Didn't study. Whatever. So fucking tired of this shit. Gotta see a head doc this summer. Summer. Everyone is leaving. All of them. Fuck.
April 25th 0036
Installed Windows 11. What a fucking worthless load of fucking garbage trash. Can't believe this is the future of OSs. I think it may be time to go fucking linuxtardmode when the support for 10 drops. In awe of the L I took today, future me will know :). Also fuck you. Wow Japan has some fucked up crimes... 44 days... and Hong Kong Hello... Hello! Hello! Hello! I hate them all.
April 23th 0219
Weird how many days it's been. I was studying for all the exams I have up coming this week. Also seems I need a premium account to upload audio... mayhaps I'll get one in due time. I'm gonna put a drawing in between the two skeletons... also in due time. For some reason this pc is on the fritz. New windows update I guess, hopefully... but it got me thinking to unistall windows 10 and try a diffrent OS as a daily driver, as opposed to just peaking through with a VM. I saw the guys last weekend. Well two of em, all the rest of those fuckers were new. 7 people and I was only familar with two. Extroverts are such... emotional sluts man. Can I say that? Whatever. I had some beer and did a bit of coke. Main one was doing more of it then I've ever seen. He's gonna go fucking broke. Not even that good of a drug btw. It dosen't make you go scarface nutcase invincible crazy it just makes you focus at bit more. Then again scarface was on that 1980s shit, and now they toss a bit of fent in every gram. Still thinking weather("whether"(retard)) or not to cut em off. I tire of their presence... I don't suppose it really matters either way. Also final thing I watched rebel moon part 2. Fucking hilarious. Really hope they give that guy another $150 millon to make whatever his cocaine-addled mind can produce. Truly a visionary. Also my ads are Swedish reminds me of this cute guy. FML. Gn! (∪｡∪)｡｡｡ zzZ
April 15th 0242
Man I really gotta stop staying up this fuckin late, my body just loves being awake at 3am, oh well. I like the layout of the homepage now, I mean its still a horrid mess, but its a horrid mess I understand all the elements of. This weekend I mostly did chores around the house, but I also got some ultrakill in, studied and did a bit of work on this site. I better get used to being alone because thats how its gonna be from now on. I got what I wanted didn't I?
April 12th 0319
I watched the first episode of the fallout tv show. It was fine. Not sure what all the fucking nerds were whining about. I guess I'll see, maybe episode 2 starts with chris avellone being shot in the face with a railway rifle. I tried to do just a smidgen of formating on my homepage and got no where I'm fuckin mad. I would keep going but I have class tomorrow. I'm so done with school I cannot wait for this semester to be over.
April 11th 0246
I was supposed to work on the site for two minutes. Ended up being like 3 hours lol. I changed the nav bar again and am starting to properly format the homepage. But I'm tired now. Goodnite. Note to self: add something cool up top later...
April 8th 1134
Taking this shit down, (temporarily?). It's too personal.
April 6th 0041
Man Future is so great. Not to hop on here and start glazing but his recently relased "We don't trust you" has had me going through his entire discography. Easily one of my top fives. Not that I know all that much about music... It's my final month of school. I'm passing all my classes so I guess that's good. But I want to do better so I'm going to double down on studying. I mean it's not like I have anything else to fuckin do. I tire of hanging with my current friend group. I don't trust them to have my back when the going gets tough so whats the point in hanging with them? All I need is one good friend. Someone who'd risk life and limb... I'd do the same. But that shit is securely in the realm of lovers and partners. You're not supposed to be that attached to your friends silly! I'm looking at the log below and realizing I wrote this shit last time... god damn I need to do something! Anyways future plans. Once the semester is over I need to figure out what the fuck to do. I definitely want to stay in school. As hard as it is I find it engaging, I feel as if I am legitimately learning new things. The question is is the price worth it. I'll need a job over the summer for sure. Already have a few ideas lined up,,, I'll see if they work out. I don't give a fuck about making any god damn friends though. Waste of fuckin time. Also gonna try to update more, I'm talking weekly at least. Although I may not make a post everytime. Anyways Im gonna go drink and play Death Stranding till I pass out. Bye!
March 14th 0150
Holy fuck its been a while lol. Haven't really had time to update this website since I started school. It's been bad. My grades are fine but my fucking head certainly isn't. Why else would I be this at two am the day after my birthday. Yea yesterday was my birthday big fucking whoop. Who gives a shit. Well quite a few people did for some reason. Twenty fucking three and nothing to show for it. Whatever. I should take a god damn typing class. I should type more, what kind of coder peck types? Again whatever. Blah blah blah. I'm drunk if you couldn't tell. I watched this anime Mignon last night. Yea that's where I am in life watching smut who's target audience is seriously probably teenage girls.
Fuck was it hot though watching them take each other like that. I also watched dune 2 a few days back. Really good. Hopefully we get more cool sci-fi movies in future. What else... 2093 is an amazing album. I like vultures as well. Very brave of Kanye to make an album about his porn addiction. I feel like shit and it's not just the mental illness thats becoming increasingly obvious to my friends and family. Spring is always painful and this year is no acception. I really must ditch the south one day. Go somewhere cold where the pollen can't fuck with me. Or go somewhere so hot nothing grows. I still want to make a small game before the summer. By small I'm talking one level platformer. And I want to make the music and art for it as well. I mean it'll all suck but who cares? That's something I never understood about plagiarists. Wh y the fuck would I ever want to present something that isn't mine? Are they just stupid? I need another shot. And I need to start drinking earlier. The proper way to drink is to start at 10pm and drink till around 2am. Do not start at 1am. Way too late, and everyone is alseep by that time. Fuck I need(want?) a boyfriend so bad. He'd be so easy to control. I'd have total power over him. He'd love me and only me forever, I'd be his world. It's some sick shit to say out loud but that's what I want. What's the alternative? A network of friends. P2P? Client server? It all falls apart once someone pulls the power. One more shot. I wish I had a close friend. Just one. Blood brothers. I don't care. All I ask is that he'd sacrifice his life for me, I'd do the fucking same in a heartbeat. They don't make people like that anymore. Someone who would risk life and limb for you. YOUR friends would abandon you for pussy without a second thought my dear reader. HAHAHAHAHHAHAH. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME. Maybe I should join the army. Scratch that too fat and retarded. Maybe the communist club? I really think I'll just get put on a list. Man I fucking hate everyone. Even after my birthday. I'm so fucking mad. Who else is like that? Bad people that's who. I'm just a fucking bad person straight up. I've always loved villiams not liked loved! Wanted them to wine! What's better and mooore right then destroying those who have fucked you over? It is right and just and true and [pure. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCLKF/. I hate myself so much :) Im gonna fix the nav bar and then go to bed. Goodnight nobody.
January 20th, 2024 2316
Have you ever put ranch dressing on spagetti? It's really quite good, the smoothness of the ranch works to hide the disgusting and overpowering taste of tomatos found in all italian cuisine. I used a hidden table to reorient the naviagation bar for the homepage, looks a little better. I also tried to get the "random" link page working but apperently Im gonna have to learn javascript for that and I don't want to... just yet. So I didn't edit the site much. So what? It's a blog, I can post without editing, fuck you. I only thought of working on the site because I saw a really sick one.
I've been thinking about the 2020 film "Another Round" alot. I watched a shitton of movies while I was working that shitty job but I really think this one stuck with me the most (and Blue Velvet and Funny Games and Halloween but that's neither here nor there). It could have easily been an film about how drinking is bad, but it isn't that ending makes it clear that it has so much more to say then that. I was watching the ending and foolishly reading the comment section on youtube when I saw a few comments disparaging the ending, saying how it's actually dark and about how mankind will forever been enthralled to the sedutive nature of alcohol. I think that misses the entire point of the film. Mikkelsen's character didn't start drinking because it was "fun", he did it because he felt as if he was missing something in life, he had grown stale, predictable. The monotony of life had ground him down to a shell of his fomer self. The drink made him feel like him, allowed him to connect with his students, his family and his wife. Had he not picked up the bottle he would be where he started. The point isn't whether or not drinking is good or bad, the point is that it is a part of life, like anything. Sometimes it can fuck you up and destroy you, and sometimes you can have a good time. But you will never know if you choose to live your life on the sidelines. If you choose to never take that risk because of how much you fear losing it all. Everything is a game of chance, are you really winning by choosing not to play?
January 7th, 2024 1737
It's the new year and today is the first day of it I haven't gotten drunk(yet). Ordered the blog posts from oldest to newest, added a favcon, organized all the images and gifs, added a new main page header item for "random" pages.
December 28th, 2023 0322
Merry (late) Christmas! Did a few updates to the site today, I think it looks a little better. Okay fuck being humble I think it looks alot better. I decided to move away from the hacker green text style aesthetic to a more flashy iced out opium reccord label type deal. Definitely more reflextive of my actual taste. I still want the make the navigation bar(whatever you call it) for the site look better. But that may take a while because apperently I can't learn anything without reading it's entire manual front to back. It's funny the only reason I ended up coming back to edit the site so soon is because I was fucking around with SQL map in kali, got stuck and had to watch a tutorial. The guy in the tutorial advised learning SQL first, and the site for learning SQL advised learning more about HTTP and HTML first. I guess it all connects... Anyways heres a link to the leaked kanye album I was listening to while editing this.
December 13th, 2023 0700
Hello, it's been an entire month since my last post post, which thinking about it, I'm fine with. Monthly updates are my goal. I tried a Zyn nicotine pouch today made me dizzy and gave me a horrible headache. Stimulants just don't seem to agree with my system lol. Whatever, I've always believed that they're for fascists anyways.
November 11th, 2023 2323
Happy Thanksgiving! This is my first blog post, the site has ALOT of work to be done. This is my very first time coding with HTML (coding in general TBH), so it will probably be a while before I can make something that looks good. I don't know what the purpose of this site is yet, but I know I want to make something visually pleasing. Bye for now!